After my surgery when I was taken out of ICU and put into a ‘normal’ room, Dr Maughn in one of his visits to check on me, told me ‘to measure my progress in weeks not days’. That was easy to see the wisdom in, because it had only been 24 hours after my skull had been invaded and the grip of death removed from the center of my universe.
I also have a memory of my best friend, Cory, saying to me,” Vicki, every day away from surgery is a success.’
I did not know then the profound power, which accompanied these two statements. I hung on to every syllable for the next 4 weeks, and I still do.
There is a power that comes from the quieting of body and mind. It is the power of being still.
For many of you who know me, and have known me along my 54 year journey, know what a trial this has been for me to overcome. I was accustomed to be deeply independent…to a fault. I appeared invincible to some, and intimidating to many. Yet I didn’t get it! I have such a deep love and care for human beings and find myself in love with everyone who I am privileged to intersect living with, so it has been a process of patience to those around me, who love me, to wait for me to fully absorb and practice this message!
This new health challenge has been quite a positive, profound experience for me. I am grateful to be alive and learning such valuable attributes to include in MY personal life ‘project’ in building my character and working be a proactive contribution while I am here on this planet.
I thought that I was balancing my life.
I was happy with me. I enjoyed being around myself and felt the confidence, which comes of meaningful relationships at work and in my personal life.
I was raising a beautiful family with children whom I was proud of. Who faced their own challenges and weaknesses and with courage and determination overcame themselves time and time again. The love and loyalty and fun we still have together is no less than a daily miracle.
I had created a business, which revolved around the reality of daily simple eating, the consistency of quarterly cleansing, and the emotional commitment to take care of ‘you’ everyday. To the degree that I lived my own program, there was success in for my clients and in my business.
I was moving and working my body and inspiring my mind as I ran in the mountains, road biked up canyons, hiked on cliffs over tempestuous seas–spending as much time outside in any weather, to stimulate my creative forces and be a better mother and facilitator in the clinic
When my body began to shut down, I was shocked and surprised. Looking back over the years, I can now see the historical signs and the struggle my body and mind went through to adapt and overcome each step of this degradation.
Over the course of 5 weeks, needing help from my close family was a necessary part of each daily task. My girls took turns watching me sleep to make sure I was breathing. They had to really encourage me to eat, because I could not swallow anymore. I couldn’t work because I couldn’t see. I couldn’t walk or balance at all.
I had always wondered where my deep commitment to simple pure eating had come from. I wasn’t raised that way. The medical profession that I had entered for career training at 16 years old didn’t require it. No one around me supported it. But somehow inside of myself, I knew that my life depended on it.
I remember when I first met and counseled with Dr Maughn 3 days before surgery; he said that taking care of my body over the years, as I have, had preserved my body to this point. That my body had adapted to each stage of the tumor’s growth and the only reason it couldn’t adapt to it now, was that it had reached its capacity in the size of my skull. There was no more room.
The vegan and then raw food diet and the consistency of quarterly body cleansing and exercise for 30 years had created a strength, determination and stamina to overcome and survive for so long. I knew that I also had the deep reservoirs of strength physically, mentally and emotionally, to fully overcome the results of this marvelous surgery.
How grateful I am for the knowledge that I have gained over the years concerning alternative ways of living and thinking, which has provided this miracle for me: this miracle of a new life.
May we embrace with gratitude each icon of understanding, which may be difficult to live in our sociality, yet if done with determination and grace, could bless our life immeasurably and set a precedence which gives others around us the permission to choose other ways of thinking and living which better serve the lives we are working for and dreaming of.