Tiffanie Lorensen’s Personal Story
Real People, Real Results!
My name is Tiffanie Lorensen, my friends call me Tiffi or Tiff. I discovered Vicki’s work 10 years ago after living with and serving the people of Venezuela for a year and a half. I returned home sick with the Dengue Fever. I was deathly ill and the doctors told me there was nothing they could do for me. I suffered through the terrible pains and headaches. My body ached so badly I was totally disfunctional. The fevers and accompanying chills rendered me virtually useless and with no hope. I had no energy at all and my motivation diminished quickly with all of the weight I was losing. I did not know where to turn, so I did nothing.
I was desperate for help. I felt abandoned by the Medical Profession in any hope to regain my health and eliminate all of the pain.
My dear neighbor had just completed one of Vicki’s Quarterly Cleanses and suggested that I come with her and meet Vicki, so I went with her to her colonic appointment. As I worked to concentrate on what Vicki was teaching and offering me, I felt strongly that this was the beginning of the solution. Little did I know that the meeting I had with Vicki that day would change the rest of my life.
I began my first 2-week cleanse with 4 colonics scheduled out every 7 days, and was feeling a little better with each colonic. I struggled with the diet. Previous to cleansing, I was used to eating cookies all day for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Although I had lost some weight with the Dengue Fever, I did not change my unhealthy eating practices, even during the cleanse. I am sure that I would have experienced better results faster if I would have had more control of myself concerning food. Nevertheless, I lost about 30 pounds and felt substantially better, even though the pain wasn’t completely gone, I continued to cleanse every 6 weeks with her 1-week cleanse and a colonic every week until I was living my life as normal again. Unfortunately I had returned to my unhealthy eating habits and gained all of the weight back and even more. I was hiding my eating problem from myself.
Over the years I continued to do my quarterly cleanses diligently but always cheating with foods which didn’t allow my body to truly and completely cleanse. By the time I started the quarterly cleanse again. I was back to the same weight where I was when I started. Mydepression set in strong as I isolated myself emotionally and buried myself deeper and deeper with problems, some I blew out of proportion because I was screaming out for help. I was not willing to stop and be accountable for what I was experiencing. It was so much easier to blame my misery on everybody else including my closest friends and family. The more I convinced myself that nothing was my doing, the more I gave myself the licence to eat and eat and eat. It was the only thing that made me feel close. I was burying myself alive and nobody noticed me. I became a target of unwanted relationships and bullies because I walked around all day with the deer in the headlight look and did not care about anything, especially myself. I weighed in at 287 pounds.
I was out of control and addicted to foods that were really harming my body and not making me feel better, as I convinced myself that they would do for me. My addiction to junky food continued pulling me down farther into this hole I was digging for myself to hide in. These foods were my drugs. I share them with you to expose the poison that they are, regardless of how ‘healthy’ I had convinced myself that they were.
White chocolate Macadamia Nut Cookies in fact, any kind of cookie would do. Eating a dozen cookies bigger than the palm of my hand would be my food for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I did not drink anything with it, not even water. I tried to satisfy my addiction with all kinds of foods; licorice, peanut butter M&M’s, Chicken Enchiladas, Ice Cream, popcorn. When that didn’t satisfy, and it never did, I went for two, not just one, McDonald’s double cheese burgers with a hot fudge sundae, chicken fried steak with extra gravy, hot buttered rolls drenched in honey butter, chips of any kind, Pasta drenched in Alfredo Sauce, Snickers or Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, does this sound familiar to you? I was out of control, and nothing would satisfy. Worse yet, I had developed an art of hiding these foods from myself and I truly convinced myself that I hadn’t eaten ANYTHING!! This was the worst part; I had learned to believe my own lies.
My typical day looked like this: I would wake up tired, try to walk my dogs if I got up in time, come home early from work because I was exhausted, sit on the couch for the rest of the evening, sometimes not even making it to my bed to sleep. No wonder I felt so depressed and hopeless. The only distraction I had was when my ex-basketball coaches would get me out of the house and do something active outdoors. It was a pretty bleak existence and it was all I knew.
I found myself struggling with my loved ones and myself.
Since I know that we teach the people around us how to treat us; I taught all the people around me how to notrespect me because I did not respect myself. Everyone thought I did not care so they went out of their way to tell me what to do because I did not do anything on my own initiative. I never spoke up or asked for what I really wanted or needed. I didn’t know what I really wanted or needed. During these 10 years of quarterly cleansing, this is what I had created for myself.
In August of 2008 I had hit the end of my rope. I was traveling back from Idaho from donating massage to a Women Beyond Cancer retreat just after my mother had been diagnosed with cancer. As I drove home I realized I was in the same boat as my mom. I felt strongly that my body was headed down the cancer road, and fast. As I pulled back into town I went straight to Vicki’s Clinic saying to myself, If she is there I will start my next cleanse and do it 100%… I was ready and committed to do something about what I was creating for myself. I was miserable, and it was staring back at me through the rear view mirror. Deep down inside I was praying that she was there but in the same thought I also resisted, hoping she was not, because then I could use that as an excuse to stay stuck. I wasn’t going to ask for what I needed from her, I would just do it my old way; think it, and if it didn’t happen, then I guess it wasn’t supposed to. Even though I knew I was dead in so many ways, it still frightened me beyond measure to step into the unknown.
I walked in and did not see her so I turned around to leave. To my astonishment as I turned, she was standing behind me, and now right in front of me. I knew that I was finally committing to myself. That is what had been missing; I needed my own commitment. I needed to keep my word to myself, especially when no one else was around to see.
That day I committed to walk down the path of my true self, to STOP being something and somebody I am not. I wanted to get myself off of the path to cancer. To lose the weight that I hated so much on my body; the weight which had been in the way of me socializing with people my own age and feeling worthy to be living the life of my dreams. I was in a pain worse than the Dengue Fever and recognized that I was experiencing deep despair. I want to change now.
I cleansed through that fall and successfully through the holidays. Not much changed on the scale, but I noticed that my attitude got better and my presence improved as I practiced focusing on being in each moment. I stayed committed with Vicki’s coaching every week at my colonic appointment. She helped me see through the lies I had told myself about not eating anything, and exposed to me just how many calories I was splurging on when I chose to be unconscious. In fact, I noticed that I went unconscious to give myself permission to eat inappropriately because I felt so invisible. I stuck with it and learned to unwind those old thought patterns, and replace them with proactive statements of truth about myself and what I truly wanted for my life.
The scales began to show the loss of a few pounds, but none of my clothes fit anymore; I was still not where I dreamed my body could be.
Vicki had invented a weightloss program for those who could not reduce their mass. She called it her Pancreatic Reset System. She was testing it on some clients and I asked her if I could jump on board and have her coach me. She agreed and little did I know that her upping my ante this way would assure me of reaching the top of the mountain and achieving my dream body.
From January to April the ascent up to my peak was slow, hard, and grueling. I lost some weight but my body did not trust me and was not sure if I was serious because of all the lies I had told myself about food and my eating of it. My ego was running wild as it was desperate to gain control of me by negative attitudes, fear of standing up for myself, and allowing myself to really be myself and embrace my beauty. My ego was losing the power I had relinquished it as a teenager with all of its rhetorick to justify all of my food addiction and lazy behaviors. I reached plateau after plateau and at times my ego told me that I was never going to reach my goal. At this difficult time, I learned of the return of the cancer in my Mother’s body. I felt devastated with the thought of losing my Mom. At times before, with less that a hundredth of this bad news, I would have given myself the licence to dive back into my old habits and seek for the artificial peace and safety that I had previously sought for in junky foods. I chose differently this time. I faced that challenge and allowed myself to see and feel the suffering of my mother and the suffering of all of my loved ones. I kept going with my commitment. I did not run away and drown my body with sugar to hide. I kept my commitment to myself.
At my Mother’s funeral in July I had lost about 80 pounds, and dressed like the feminine lady that I am. I looked and felt beautiful for the first time in my life. My relatives and friends did not recognize me. I was not invisible anymore. I could not hide, and I could not hide the fact that I had accomplished something quite miraculous. I felt amazing; alive, free, peaceful, and clear even in this moment of grief and pain.
By August I had lost 20 more pounds, it was just falling off me now that I had reset my pancreas and jumpstarted my metabolism. At that time I had melted a total of 100 pounds off of my frame, and most of it released after a long period of persistent eating and cleansing when I could not measure any results. My commitment and perseverance truly paid off. It was a small price to pay to have my body and my mind on the same team.
My world has dramatically changed physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
Permit me to use the metaphor of climbing an impossible mountain. I had reached my first summit peak and realized that I could do it, and I did it with support, but made the baby step choices which had carried me here. I was honest enough with myself to know that I was not to my final destination yet, and my journey ahead is much more important than any destination that I have fabricated in my mind. I knew that if I sat down here and rested on my laurels, I would come up with a hundred good reasons to be afraid of my new life and turn my back on the new opportunities that I have earned, and put myself back in that hell that I just climbed out of. I knew that there were more and more mountain ranges to explore and make a part of myself, and as my trek continues I commit to learn, grow, struggle, and CHANGE. TO CHANGE MY MIND ABOUT MYSELF, MY CAPABILITIES, MY GIFTS AND MY LIFE. I also knew that there was no way I was going toallow myself to climb back down this mountain and hide my beauty, my dreams and my aspirations, to fit into my old life and associations. I am attracting my dreams to me through my reformed presence. If I can do this, I can do anything.
I now teach those I love a new way of treating me and seeing me. I respect myself in every moment and allow others to see me and enjoy me and respect me for making choices for myself. My inner circle has changed. Its easier to see what does and doesn’t work for me. As I learned how to dress and purchase a wardrobe and decorate my body with beauty and polished class, I learned to style and do my hair, wear makeup, straighten my posture and refine my language and voice; this gave me the courage to ask Vicki to include me on her Team and train me as a Colon Hydrotherapist. With much convincing on my part, she conceded and I am now working with her in supporting and educating thousands of people who desire to use simple quarterly cleansing, the addition of at least 50% cellular building foods, and managing their daily experience to energy, health, clarity, passion and joy through mastering their addictions and obeying themselves.
I am here to educate you to a new possibility, to support you and be there for each one of you as you step onto the mountain and successfully reach your summits. I invite each one of you to take on your dreams and create, live, and achieve the life you always wanted; physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually and financially. Come soar with me to new heights and new dreams and new experiences.
As I progressed on this journey, Vicki taught me how to be present in every moment. This was hard to do at first, but as she stayed with me, I learned how important it was to be present and in my body in my experience. Whenever I slipped unto apathy and unconsciousness I realized that I was putting myself and others around me in danger. I noticed that when I went unconscious and zoned out, I was literally dead, even though my world around me was moving forward. I saw the pattern of zoning out, eating inappropriately to numb out my pain of being invisible, lying to myself and Vicki about it, and then feeling guilty about being untrue. I was digging myself farther into my hole.
As I became more and more awake and present in my body, I craved the greens and the green vegetable salads, Vicki’s homemade dressings and her dehydrated breads and crackers. Consistently eating these good foods determined how I presented myself; the way and what I eat is how I live my life. My life changed drastically; I gained my own personal power and was teaching the clients who I served in the Clinic the truth, and it was inspiring them to be true to themselves and the life they really wanted to live too. I wasn’t invisible at all; I really did matter. I am alive! I do make a difference! At home and in my personal life, I was finally speaking up for myself and over time my loved ones started treating me different. This was hard at first because my close friends and especially my family did not know what to say to me and how to act around me, because I did not hide anymore. When they could see that I was serious about my healthy diet and they could see me keeping my commitment to myself, some of them got offended and accused me of copying Vicki. What they didn’t choose to see was me. They struggled with the fact that I was changing and embracing my beauty and wanted the freedom to live my life and my dreams for MYSELF, Vicki just showed me that I could do it and coached me through the times I wanted to give up. It was interesting and oftentimes shocking to watch people come in my life and go out of my life if I didn’t fit the old pictures that they were comfortable defining me with. Sometimes their responses and lack of support was downright mean and rude… This made it difficult at holidays and family events to stay on track with my goals because they would pressure me to eat foods that I could not eat at that time because I was climbing to another level. Often times I folded and ate to please them, Its so good to see you eating again, Tiff. They would say, and I could gain 30 pounds back in a matter of 19 days, as I allowed myself to go more and more unconscious and dig deeper and deeper into that death that I knew I would have to pull myself out of. It didn’t take many of these experiences until I knew that I had to stand for myself, and mean it.
I have to be aware every moment because it is so easy to slip. Slipping and falling is definitely not worth the pain and suffering it causes and all of the redoubled effort that is required to jump back up and get back on the mountain to climb and make up for that lost ground. Climbing is how to heal. When I notice that I am unconscious, zoned out, or not present and in my body, it reminds me to STOP, and GET UP and MOVE FORWARD, even if I don’t want to. Don’t hang out in the fallen state because the longer you do, the harder it is to get yourself out of it. To stay on track ; keep going, don’t stop if you fall, don’t stop and brag about where you are, just KEEP GOING. Keep your eye on the ball, take the time to discover what you really want; that vision of your dreams. When you think that you’ve made it don’t be tempted to slow down and go back into some of your old ways. The minute you think you can stop for this event or for that person is when you fall off track.
For those of you who would like to take this journey and want to change your life I say just do it. It is hard to face yourselves and the lies youhave convinced yourself of, but the value of your life and the results that you will receive by honoring that life are worth every effort of time,work, and sacrifice. You can do it! It will change your life for the better physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. You will gain a personal power for yourself and respect of your family and friends that will give you the confidence to accomplish your dreams and aspirations in life. You are worth it!